Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry about my life...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
