I just cut my nipple shaving
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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