i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
