As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
