It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
