I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
