Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
