I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
