There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
