also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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