Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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