Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Randomize
