you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
