Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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