32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you win again, gameday.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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