i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
