So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
