Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Randomize
