Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
