put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
