i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
