as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
As shirtless as possible
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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