Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
