oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
