at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
