So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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