i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
