Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
