once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
