were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
