In the future we'll all be gay
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
