i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
