Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
