I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
