Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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