i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
