only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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