the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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