there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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