Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
