I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
