You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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