Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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