at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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