so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize