Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
