So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
