i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
