first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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