so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
