party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
