She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
