problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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