our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
